Flying Spaghetti Monster
How do you feel about the flying spaghetti monster stealing your schtick? I thought noodley appendages were your thing? Don’t tell anybody this but we’ve been working this FSM thing for awhile. We get these [...]
Cthulhumas?
What do we bring Cthulhu for Christmas? We don’t really celebrate that holiday, that other guy took all our lord’s thunder. People feared him before that dude came around. I do like the way they [...]
It’s twelves all the way down…
I wanted to publish this article at 12:12 today. But, I thought that might be pushing fate. And fuck that bitch, she pushes back. So, today is 12/12/12. The last sequential date of the century. [...]
Smiting Delight
Who is Cthulhu going to delight in smiting at the great reckoning? More like who is he not going to delight in smiting!! Wow, it’s going to be pretty amazing. We’ve been working on some [...]
Life After Reckoning
What will become of your Cultists after the reckoning? We will become like his right hand men but you know, with tentacles. You know how that one cult says if you’re really good you’ll go [...]
Souls for Talent
Can we sell our soul to Cthulhu for talent? You could but it’d be like a monkey paw kinda deal. Oh look, you got an amazing voice but only because you have to eat three [...]
Cthu-losers
I think my God is better than your God. What do you have to say about that Cthu-losers? We think you have already started to worship The Deep One and your crazed mind has forgotten. [...]
Mac vs. PC
I’m in the market for a new computer - half of my friends are MAC people, the other half are PC people - What Would Cthulhu Use? Computers? Really? What the fuck, people? Cthulhu isn’t [...]
Colony of Deep Ones
I have a colony of Deep Ones in my swimming pool. Can anyone recommend a good method of removing them? Why would you want to remove them? I recommend blood sacrifices and ritual feedings. You [...]
House vs. Car
I live in an apartment and drive a car that needs $2000 worth of work. I'm almost 100% debt free, should I buy a house or a car? Sadly I can't buy both because one [...]