Welcome to “Six of the Best”, which is totally a spanking reference*, and also the name of a feature here at Nerdery where I give you what is, in my opinion, six of the best… something.

Since I’m writing this one on my lunch break, I figure: why not write about something that a lot of us do at work.

Play Words With Friends while taking a poop.

Don’t lie. You’ve done it. Yes, you. Not the person in the next cubicle — you.

6. ki — K is a bitch of a tile. It’s not quite as annoying as C or V — neither of which have any two-letter words associated with them — but it’s a pain nonetheless. Once someone plays the Q, everyone forgets to block off the open bonus space next to the I in “indefatigable”, and that means you get some extra points. Plus, there might be an A nearby so you can play KI/KA and KIcK Ass. (See what I did there?) In case you didn’t know, “ki” is the same as “chi” (the life-force, not the Greek letter), and is alternately spelled “qi”.

5. wo — Probably Joey Lawrence’s favorite two-letter Scrabble word. I always forget about this one, up until someone plays it on me. I guess because it means “warrant officer”, and it’s technically an abbreviation.

4. si — No lie, I didn’t even realize this one existed. I swear every other game I play I end up with four I tiles, a couple of Us, and a V. Can’t do anything with that mess. But there’s bound to be someone who left an S open on the board, thinking that you couldn’t squeak a vowel in front of it. So go in from the rear instead — this is one occasion when you don’t have to ask permission first. If you’re interested, it’s an alternate definition of “ti”, which is a type of Asian and/or Pacific tree of the genus Cordyline, not to be confused with the genus Cordelia, which gets prophetic visions, gives birth to Gina Torres, and then comes back in Season Five showing a crapload of cleavage.

3. mm — If you’ve played WWF against me (username: Listener42), you’ve been nailed by HM before. Well, you’d better watch out, because now I know that MM is also a legal word, and while it may not be worth 2000 points, it’s worth at least eight. That’s better than zero. Which is what it should be, because “mm” is an abbreviation for measures, millimeter, messieurs, and million.

2. ar — Make your pirate jokes if you like, but AR, while only worth two points, is very useful when you’re trying to play off someone who has a word with a bunch of consonants — or if your opponent played GRIN and you need to clear some vowels off your rack. Because then you get AG, AR, AA, and maybe the WWF randomizer will give you a few consonants next time. Like perhaps an R, which “ar” is — it’s the phonetic spelling of the letter R.

1. jo — According to Merriam Webster, “jo” is a Scottish word that means sweetheart or dear. And, even better, you can play it safely when you think your opponent has an S, because the plural of “jo” isn’t “jos”. It’s “joes”. It’s a great, sneaky play, but it can backfire if you leave open a bunch of spaces after it, because there are a bunch of words that start with “jo” — far more than start with “za”, which is the other 11-point two-letter play.

Bonus Content!

Dude, who doesn’t arrange their remaining opponents in such a way that it spells words? Not me, that’s for damn sure. Whether I’m a Russian spy, a toothy fish, or just indulging my inner twelve-year-old, you can be sure that I’ve messed around like this before.

I also apparently taught WWF how to dougie.

dougie

Got a suggestion for a future “Six of the Best”? Tweet it to me @Listener42. I’ll probably see it, think it’s a good idea, and then just not bother doing it because I forgot. Kind of my modus operandi.

* You’ll figure out really quickly that I’m going to make a lot of those as time goes on.