We received mail from the doomed future. This was a singing telegram set to the tune of Foreigner’s Cold As Ice…

It’s as cold as Hoth
We’re willing to sacrifice our cow

It’s never warming up
Someday we’ll freeze to death, we know

We’ve seen it before, it happens all the time
(Oooh-oooh) We sliced the stomach open, leaving the cold behind
We’re digging for warmth, yet losing food
(Aaah-aaah) A fortune in frostbite, but someday we’ll thaw

It’s as cold as Hoth…