Darwin Law here and bah to the motherfucking humbug. Christmas during the end of days is like playing pinochle while you’re being fed into a wood chipper…but I’ll play your little game. Ho Ho Ho and shit. What do I want for Christmas aside from you all to get the hell off my planet? Let’s see here…Kevlar is a good start. You can never have enough Kevlar in your life. Gloves, body armor, neck guard…I already got everything I need but yeah I could stand a back up supply when things get tight. What else? Lemme think. A nice impact weapon with something pointy coming out of it would be lovely. For the sake of argument let’s say you get me an aluminum baseball bat with a railroad spike coming out of it and a re-enforced grip. That would look lovely under my ballisticly sound Christmas tree (it can actually be used for cover and concealment in the event that Christmas morning turns into a total cockup…again). Anything else? OH! Spam. You never can have enough Spam. And so ends my Christmas list. Bah humbug and keep your powder dry.
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