What Would Cthulhu Do?
Flying Spaghetti Monster
How do you feel about the flying spaghetti monster stealing your schtick? I thought noodley appendages were your thing? Don’t tell anybody this but we’ve been working this FSM thing for awhile. We get these [...]
Election 2012
Who did Cthulhu vote for in the 2012 election? Well of course he voted for Romney. He want this world to plunge into chaos and bring about the years of darkness. Obama is delaying that [...]
Cthulhumas?
What do we bring Cthulhu for Christmas? We don’t really celebrate that holiday, that other guy took all our lord’s thunder. People feared him before that dude came around. I do like the way they [...]
Smiting Delight
Who is Cthulhu going to delight in smiting at the great reckoning? More like who is he not going to delight in smiting!! Wow, it’s going to be pretty amazing. We’ve been working on some [...]
Life After Reckoning
What will become of your Cultists after the reckoning? We will become like his right hand men but you know, with tentacles. You know how that one cult says if you’re really good you’ll go [...]
Souls for Talent
Can we sell our soul to Cthulhu for talent? You could but it’d be like a monkey paw kinda deal. Oh look, you got an amazing voice but only because you have to eat three [...]
Cthu-losers
I think my God is better than your God. What do you have to say about that Cthu-losers? We think you have already started to worship The Deep One and your crazed mind has forgotten. [...]
Mac vs. PC
I’m in the market for a new computer - half of my friends are MAC people, the other half are PC people - What Would Cthulhu Use? Computers? Really? What the fuck, people? Cthulhu isn’t [...]
Doomsday
When do the cultists predict the world will end? When the great Cthulhu decides he is hungry enough, all the world will be devoured … He’s kinda like Galactus in his ability to devour entire [...]
Colony of Deep Ones
I have a colony of Deep Ones in my swimming pool. Can anyone recommend a good method of removing them? Why would you want to remove them? I recommend blood sacrifices and ritual feedings. You [...]