Stockholm Syndrome is defined as a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them.

Blitzholm Syndrome is defined as a sexual phenomenon in which Bella Blitz gets all tingly when villains are involved in Books, Comics, TV Shows and Movies. But not just any villain, she has standards – low as they may be.

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Villains are fucking hot. They aren’t just hot, they are usually dark and mysterious and smart and evil. Qualities that I look for in a fuck buddy… err, man. Intelligent and Eloquent villains are even more amazing because not only are their brains sexy, but they speak to you in a way that prohibits you from doing anything other than what they ask, or demand.

Here are three of my current favorite intelligent and eloquent villains:

Hannibal Lecter:
Yeah, he would totally eat my face, but I’d be okay with him eating something else first. What? Don’t judge me. Not only does Anthony Hopkins bring a level of deviousness to this character that I haven’t seen in a long while, he also personifies the über smart villain. Have you read about that man? He’s scary… and awesome. Lecter is methodical and precise. He knows he’s smarter than you and while he’s always five steps ahead of you, he’s constantly coming back to you – teasing you with the possibility of catching up, giving you the opportunity to do so and ripping it away from you like a dominant sex partner that gets off on being withholding.

He’s calm and collected. He’s an artist. (What girl doesn’t want to sleep with an artist?) The juxtaposition of his violence to his calm demeanor is awe inspiring and capturing. I can’t look away, I don’t want to. I want to help him. I want to learn from him. I want him to believe it would be rude to come after me, so I can go after him.

Loki:
This has nothing to do with my unhealthy obsession and unrequited love of Tom Hiddleston. This is all about Loki, as a villain. A steamy, brooding, self-righteous, powerful and wounded villain. Yes, he is a God. Yes, he is magical (literally, that dude is a fucking wizard). Yes, he is eloquent about his desires to take over the world and rule us puny humans. But what does it for me? That damned smile. In those moments when you see through the pain,that Loki has been through in “Thor” to the sheer conviction of his goal – even when it is not his own – Hiddleston releases this amazingly devious smile that burns through your soul, and your panties. He knows what he’s doing, he’s happy about what he’s doing, and he relishes in the knowledge that he has ALL OF THE POWER to do it.

This is Loki we’re talking about here, so he has to play on your emotions. He has to get you all riled up and fill you with some sort of unintelligible emotion, hopefully one that benefits him. He is a trickster, the greatest one, and I’ve fallen for the old “take your panties off, i love you, now do my bidding” trick.

Moriarty:
Let me qualify this with: Moriarty from BBC’s Sherlock. Because… fuck. Andrew Scott has formed this character like a beautiful psychotic symphony of whimsy, violence, intelligence and oratory skill – the likes of which makes my toes curl. His ability to become anything and anyone with the flip of a switch, while incredibly frightening, is also incredibly arousing. Can you imagine what persona he can affect with a woman – ie. ME. This is the villain that every villain wants to be. His fingers are in all of the pies, all of the time and when he gets bored, he takes those fingers out and kills those pies… sorry… I’m distracted by pie.

I get hot and bothered for Moriarty because you can see his gears turning. You can see him formulating his next plan, next move, next word and it’s smooth and silky and sexy as fuck. You know that as he speaks, things are happening … (down under).

MOST HONORABLE MENTION:
Bane:
Ok, this is a relatively new one for me. I love comic books, but I didn’t start with the standard superhero comics, so I’m behind on my Batman reading materials. Needless-to-say, I’ve read the background story on Bane, and I was sold on him. Introduce Tom Hardy (that man wears the fuck out of a suit by the way, “Inception”), a sing-songy voice, a physical presence that creates shadows and shudders, and an unwavering belief in what he’s doing and I’m spent. Literally, wobbly knees and weakened constitution over here. What Hardy was able to do with a character whose voice was not his own, and whose face is never seen is just downright inspiring. The emotion that came through his eyes – those eyes; soul piercing, mind fucking eyes – was penetrable. And when he spoke, I listened! Not because he was occasionally difficult to understand, but because he was so convincing, he was so light hearted about his plight and mission… He almost sang it to us, and who doesn’t love a good serenade?

Also, how fucking big was he? Jesus. I wanted to run smack into him, fall backwards and pull him down on top of me. He stood – dominating the room, the block, the city – not saying a word (or singing his words), and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. He oozed dominance through his size, and I wanted to follow him and pinch his ass.

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There are, of course, many more intelligent and eloquent baddies that get my blood boiling with sexual psychosis… these are just some of my favorites. I could write tomes on Dracula, Hans Gruber and The Master… but I’m not sure the world is ready for that.

What intelligent villains do it for you?

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