Flying Spaghetti Monster
How do you feel about the flying spaghetti monster stealing your schtick? I thought noodley appendages were your thing? Don’t tell anybody this but we’ve been working this FSM thing for awhile. We get these [...]
It’s twelves all the way down…
I wanted to publish this article at 12:12 today. But, I thought that might be pushing fate. And fuck that bitch, she pushes back. So, today is 12/12/12. The last sequential date of the century. [...]
Colony of Deep Ones
I have a colony of Deep Ones in my swimming pool. Can anyone recommend a good method of removing them? Why would you want to remove them? I recommend blood sacrifices and ritual feedings. You [...]
Reasons to Join the Cult of Cthulhu
I find that I have gone completely insane but I haven't joined the Cthulhu yet. Is there a place for me amongst those who have gone insane with the help of the dark lord or [...]
Is Cthulhu the Answer?
I’m kinda having a crisis of faith. Raised Catholic, converted to Islam and then to Satanism. I’m trying to find out the right place for me. What does Cthulhu offer on the upside? Cthulhu offers [...]
Thinking of upgrading my ride to a hybrid. Good idea or bad idea?
Good idea. Save the environment, save the people. More people, more sacrifices. Cthulhu approves. - Cultist 12 A fair question. There are a few things to consider in all of this before you make a [...]
Romney vs. Obama
I’m trying to decide who I’m voting for in the upcoming election. Romney or Obama. What do you think? Write in Cthulhu. Do not choose between the lesser of two evils. Choose the purity of [...]
Tax Cuts from Cult?
Does your church get a pass on taxes from the government? I need to hide some cash fast and I’ve been told “helping” a church is a good way to keep funds safe. Unfortunately, at [...]
Evil Arm?
I have a Cthulhu tattoo on my arm. Is my arm evil and will I be safe when his tentacledness arrives from his icy slumber? Is your arm evil? Is your ARM … EVIL?!? You [...]
What is your reaction the birth of the new Kardashian?
Yes. Yes. Our plan is coming together. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Kardashian R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. - Cultist 27 Not for nothing but this is kind of why I joined the cult. They just seem to keep coming [...]