What’s your idea of a perfect first date?

My date is led into The Web and led up the marble steps of Cock Spire.  She is nervous.  “Am I alone in here?”  I descend slowly from the ceiling to a chorus from one of my songs, probably “8 Arms of Fuck” (the chicks dig that).  I disrobe.  “Aren’t we going out to eat?”  I raise an eyebrow “Oh I’ll be eating out all night!”  We bang, of course, then she’s led back downstairs to choose a gift bag and eat in the cafeteria if she pleases.  You see, it’s been so long since I’ve had what normal people call a date, I don’t know what to do.  We’re going to bang so why not just get to it?