What is a “But Out” Bag?
Bug Out Bag: A prepared bag that one grabs filled with items of the utmost necessity for an emergency evacuation during an apocalyptic situation. The shit that you will, without question, need to survive.
Hey kids! YA MISS ME! Damn straight you did. You just couldn’t go on another day without hearing my thought on what it’s going to take to make it through the new Dark Ages. (New Dark Ages…now with all natural lemon type flavoring.) Enough fun. YOU LEARN NOW!
A Swiss style Army knife
This will cut down on just about all other tools you might need to carry with you (save for the two listed below). Don’t expect to fend off a horde of rabid giraffes with it because that’s not what it’s for. If you’ve got a big enough one it has just about everything you need to survival all the apocalypses…apocalypsees…apocalypicals…to survive stuff. Whatever.
A lightweight hammer OR a lightweight hatchet
If it’s a hammer you choose, shoot for aluminum with a sturdy grip on it. A wooden hammer is most likely going to have a heavier metal head on it and we’re playing a game of ounces here.
– If you go with a hatchet it just needs one blade and a flat back to it. Don’t go for the Gimli special, double sided throwing hatchet. That’s just lame. You want something that can be used to cut as well as hammer. That hatchet is without a doubt going to weigh more but it will have more uses. Like with the hammer look for something that’s one solid piece.
– You always take a risk when it is metal connected to wood. Yes, depending on the one you find it might be lighter than the solid metal one but you’re now relying on organic matter. Wood warps and splinters, it expands and contracts based on weather and exposure. Under the wrong circumstances (and this is the apocalypse after all so “what else could go wrong” is really the thing you need to keep in mind) the wood could break or contract to the point where the head falls off your hammer and/or hatchet. Now you’re left with a handy dandy stick which you can promptly slide in your ass for all the good it’s going to do you.
A flathead screwdriver
In a pinch you can use a flathead screwdriver on a Phillips head screw. It can also be used to jimmy open windows, brace open doors or add an air hole to the head of that asshole who’s trying to steal your fucking Spam. You saw it first! What fucking right does he have to try and roll up on you and take your motherfuckin’ SPAM!
Keep yo’ shit sharp and on point. What? Ain’t no jokes here. Move along.
A role of the real deal. Don’t cheap out and get the off brand “silver reflective styled adhesive tape”. Duct tape makes it all better…even the end of the world. This stuff can do it all. Have you seen that Mythbusters episode? NO! DUDE, you totally need to see it. THEY BUILT A BOAT WITH IT! A FUCKING BOAT!
Darwin Law’s Preparation Tips:
Two, non-bag items that will be good to have on hand. The first is a walking stick. It should be an actual stick. A mop handle will only take you so far. You can go out and find a really nice one that’s been lacquered and had a rubber stopper on the bottom for better traction. Surprisingly they don’t cost all that much. What does this do for you? Well, you’re probably going to be doing some hiking in the new post-apocalyptic world so having a good stick to lean on comes in handy. Also, if you need to cave a fellow survivors head in to take a can of Spam from him (or her) a sturdy, polished bludgeon could come in handy.
Now if you’re really desperate or you live in an area that only has tree (singular) you can go with something like a high end pool cue or lightweight metal pipe. The downside with these two options are that 1) the chances of finding a high end pool cue isn’t that great so you’ll probably end up with something that will warp and eventually snap and 2) metal conducts heat, lightning and is probably going to end up being a pain in the ass to carry. Find you a good walking stick or take your chances.
The second is a good pair of shoes. Not comfortable shoes and not worn in shoes…good shoes. Reliable shoes that are rugged and durable. You should be able to walk through fire and snow and have them be pretty much the same after. I tend to go with high-top laced boots. They’ll give you ankle support and, in black, look classy with anything you wear. This may be the end of the world but there’s no rule in the book that says you can’t look sharp while you’re doing it. Now vogue mufukers…VOGUE!