I’m kinda having a crisis of faith.  Raised Catholic, converted to Islam and then to Satanism.  I’m trying to find out the right place for me.  What does Cthulhu offer on the upside?

Cthulhu offers nothing. It is what you offer to Cthulhu that is important. Bring us your Catholics, Islamic and Satanists, that is a good place to start. – Cultist 12

Well, I can say from personal experience that Cthulhu has offered me a sense of purpose and direction that I haven’t been able to find with most conventional religions.  There were either too many rules or pressure to conform to certain haircuts or jumpsuits or tennis shoes.  That might have actually been a doomsday cult but that’s beside the point.  With Cthulhu there’s none of that pressure.  It’s a liberating feeling to have the freedom that Cthulhu has provided me.  Plus there’s free dental.  Sorry.  I’m new here.  I’m kind of the group intern.  My name’s Roy.  — Cultist 667

667, shut the fuck up and escort our new guest to the Seasoning Tank.  — Cultist 805