Blitzholm Syndrome is defined as a sexual phenomenon in which Bella Blitz gets all tingly when villains are involved in Books, Comics, TV Shows and Movies. But not just any villain, she has standards – low as they may be.
So. Villains come in all shapes and sizes, and even in varying degrees of villainy. Those baddies that can turn on a dime and keep you on your toes – twitterpated and curious about their next move, good or bad – are what I call “wild cards”. Villains by nature are just bad, rotten to the core, “evil”, wild card villains keep you guessing whether they’re going to be bad or good or indifferent. They are unpredictable, changeable. And change is fucking sexy.
This man could turn me into a “cock sucker”, so to speak. Ian McShane’s portrayal of the gruff saloon owner and pimp in Deadwood makes my whisky quiver. This mustachioed man is witty, wise and conniving. Just the way I like them. I could watch him yell orders to his minions for hours while he gyrates at the air before letting the world know he needs to fuck something. (Note: raising my hand from the couch in my living room does not mean he will fuck ME – which is upsetting.)
The thing about Swearengen is that he surprises you with his kindness. One minutes he’s killing men and feeding them to pigs, the next minute he’s feeding men peaches. I’ve got a peach I’d like to feed Al.
So, here’s a thing: Tricia Helfer = fucking gorgeous. But that’s not why Caprica 6 has made it into this list (although that red dress could have a category all it’s own). 6 is almost solely responsible for the destruction of the human worlds. That’s pretty fucking bad. She’s also completely dominant over Giaus which is hot as shit. However, despite her mass genocide and d/s relationship status, she is doing what she feels is right in her pre-programmed heart: destroying humanity to save it. It seems pretty black and white, sure, but because there are many copies of her you never know if you’re getting the mistress of mass destruction or the soldier for humanity.
She makes me feel alive. <— If you don’t get this reference, turn off your computer, rent Battlestar Galactica, watch it, love it, and come back when you’re properly nerded up!
Fucking… Rutger Hauer. It’s a dream of mine.
Poor, young, confused Roy kills his way through Bladerunner, unapologetically – trying to find the one person that can grant him more life (I’d love to be the one to give Roy more life, if you catch my drift). Yet, despite his destruction and murder spree he does the one truly selfless thing in the entirety of the film – dying for the sins of humanity. You didn’t see that coming, did you? Well, maybe you did through all the christ-like imagery, but still. Watching Roy’s transformation from commando to savior is fucking intense.
Fucking… intense – also a dream of mine.
Wild card, bitches… Charlie Kelley
No. He’s not a villain. But he is the wildest of wild cards. Not to mention, something about Charlie Day just oozes sex to me.
He could rock my flag and eagle anytime.