My buddy’s getting married and the best man is kind of a dud.  I don’t want my buddy’s send off from bachelorhood to be a sad affair but don’t want to step on the best man’s toes.  What the hell should I do?

If your friends getting married he sounds like kind of a dud too…  Life’s too short to be tied down to one person!!  You gotta get out there and do some serious ruttin’!

I don’t know if I’m too late to change any minds but here’s what I’d do.  Invite the current best man out for some drinks.  When you’ve got him good and drunk, remind him about all his shortcomings.  Remember when he got shot down by the girl at the bar?  He does.  Remind him of it!  He’ll feel so bad later he’ll ask you what he should do for the bachelor party.  Also, you may get to bang that best man.  Silver lining!

I’m reminded of some advice a fellow rock musician gave me once.  He said: “It’s a hole, ain’t it?”  Live by those words and those toes you were afraid to step on may be spread in ecstasy underneath you…