Darwin Law:
Cantankerous Columnist

Name: Darwin Law

Occupation: Professional cranky panda & contributor to THE NERDERY PUBLIC/public servant

Often Heard: More profanity than a sailor on shore leave who’s been drinking cheap whiskey and peyote laced rainwater for days while listening to the strangest Tom Waits medley you can imagine

You wanna know who the fuck I am? I’m the one who makes it. I’m the one who lives while you meat sacks run around praying to whatever absent douchebag you think will save you. “I’m the one that got away,” to quote Lawrence Fishburne from “Predators”. Wait…he died. FUCK IT! You know what I’m getting at.

If this shit were a survival/horror movie I’d be the cranky, cantankerous, crusty ole bastard that lives in the dark, creepy house at the end of the block that everyone thinks is crazy. WELL HE IS CRAZY but he has a plan to make it. Do you? I tend to doubt it. Point of fact, I know you don’t have a plan. Not like me.

I’m the guy that walks into any space, any building, and knows the ins, the outs and how to defend it. You think I’m kidding? Well that’s why you ain’t gonna make it and I’m going to move into your house after you get got, go through all of your shit and make fun of you. Why? Because you’re dead and didn’t listen to me, that’s why.

When I’m not writing tips and tricks on how to survive for THE NERDERY PUBLIC, I’m writing comic books, playing video games, reading comic books and sharpening whatever bladed tool I have on hand. Why’s that you ask? HAVEN’T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, YOU SIMPLETON BLOOD-BUBBLE? THE END IS MOTHERFUCKING NIGH AND I’M GONNA BE THE ONE TO MAKE IT!

I also enjoy sunsets, shwarma and your mother’s socks. They’re toasty.